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  1. Home - The Onion

    The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

  2. Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash - The Onion

    Jul 2, 2007 · Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

  3. Latest - The Onion

    1 day ago · Entertainment The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Bad Bunny Reggaeton and Latin trap artist Bad Bunny is this year’s Super Bowl halftime show performer. The Onion sat down with the …

  4. What To Know About The 2026 Grammys - The Onion

    Jan 29, 2026 · The 68th Annual Grammy Awards take place Feb. 1. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s ceremony. Q: Who will be there? A: Anyone who’s anyone in the …

  5. Today Now Archives - The Onion

    6 days ago · Read More Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter. By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy …

  6. News Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · News U-Haul Unveils Live-In Trucks To Sleep In While You Sort Some Shit Out Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your …

  7. Our Annual Year 2024 - The Onion

    Trump Calls Harris To Congratulate Himself On Winning America Defeats America Sports Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion ‘s archives comprise …

  8. Politics Archives - The Onion

    1 day ago · Politics Trump Disappointed No One Killed In Ballroom Construction Process Yet Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The Onion Today

  9. American Voices Archives - The Onion

    1 day ago · Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter

  10. Opinion Archives - The Onion

    6 days ago · Become A Member Of The Last Functioning Part Of Our Democracy. Join The Onion Today